I saw this headline today, and it broke my heart. This is the headline: “One In Ten Children Asked for a Daddy For Christmas.”
The facts are depressing. 15 million kids grow up in a house without a dad, 5 million without a mom. The number has risen from 11% in the 1960’s to 30+% today. No wonder there are so many confused young men out there! They didn’t have a dad to love them, so they don’t know how to love as a man. The same is true for our young women, they didn’t have a dad to love them so they seek to fill that void in very shallow and unfulfilling ways.
It should come as no surprise. Dad’s have been under attack for decades. Your normal, average, providing for his family dad has been ripped apart in the media for quite a while. According to them, we’re a bunch of bumbling idiots who like to wear ugly sweaters and risk injuring ourselves with amped up power tools. No average dad could handle the task of parenting if he had to, he’s not smart enough.
Today it’s just an accepted fact that dads are dumb. It’s not even questioned anymore. I’m sure this is being driven by some agenda somewhere, but I’m not going to get into conspiracy theories here.
Instead of wasting time blaming the losers who control the media, how about a new proposal. Stand up for dads! What we shouldn’t do – blame the dads. Sure, there are dads who have been idiots and created many problems for their families. And, yes I’m also sure that a lot of the kids who don’t have dads are the product of a dad who left when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant.
But continuing to blame men and dads will do nothing but sustain the agenda driven crisis in our country. What we need is people to start defending dads and the need for dads in our families.
We need men and women who will take a stand and say, I can’t be both parents. We need women who will stop taking all the credit for all the good things in the family and give the dad some credit. Part of the reason it takes two people to make a human is that it takes two people to raise a human. It takes a lot to raise a mature adult, even many households with two parents struggle with this. Imagine the challenge it is to do it with just one parent who has to be both parents. The nourisher, punisher, and provider.
I’m lucky, as I have a wonderful wife who is also a wonderful mother. And she also freely admits that it takes two of us to raise our kids. But if you’re a wife who takes all the credit for raising your kids, please don’t. Even if it’s in good humor. You have no idea how much damage you could be doing. And you may find yourself discouraging your husband to the point that you will be raising the kids all on your own.
Husbands, don’t discourage your wives by belittling the work they do at home. It’s hard work, and you don’t want to do it. We need our wives.
In fact, we need the whole family. It’s the unit that provides the strength.
Will you join me in taking a stand for dads? We need see a shift in our culture, or there may perhaps be no hope.
Don’t stand for jokes about lazy, good-for-nothing dads any more. If you know a dad who is thinking about leaving, try to talk him out of it. If you know a young man who has gotten his girlfriend pregnant, encourage him not to run. Be bold. Nothing will change if we don’t start making the change.
I believe we can make a difference. I believe we can turn the tide on this storm. Perhaps we just need to try.