In my Bible reading yesterday I read through Romans 14 & 15. I’ve previously highlighted a lot of these chapters already, but there was this verse that hit me in a new way. That’s the thing about the Bible, every time you read it, you tend to notice something different because you’re in a different place in life.
This little verse says: “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good to build him up.”
This is in the context of Romans 14, which is a chapter I love to use to pick on my vegan and vegetarian friends. I’ll say, “You see, it says it right there, ‘the weak person eats only vegetables.'” Of course I know that’s not what is being said. But, what is Paul saying in this chapter?
He’s using this example to teach a couple of things. This chapter does, by the way, give a lot of freedom in Christianity. A lot of things that one denomination has said are absolutes are not to another group of Christians. That doesn’t not make either group wrong, as long as we are in agreement around the core principles of the Gospel, there is a lot of room for different applications of Christianity.
1.) Who are you to pass judgement on another’s servant? This needs to be said over and over again. It is God’s job to judge. I don’t mean the role some Christian leaders have to “make judgements.” I mean, it is never our job to condemn believers or nonbelievers over disputable matters. Jesus said it, Paul says it. Don’t just, lest you be judged. Our job is not to pass judgment on people who interpret scripture differently. What is our job? A couple of things. To pursue what makes for peace and for building one another up. And, to hold to the faith that we have but to keep it to ourselves before God.
2.) We shouldn’t use our liberties in Christ to set a trap before others who don’t hold the same point of view. In this instance, if you have no problem eating meat sacrifice to idols because to you it’s just the cooked flesh of an animal, but the person you’re sitting with at the potluck believes that there is something of that idol or worshipping that idol connected to eating that meat, then by eating the meat in front of them I’m actually tempting them to go against something they believe in.
Now, let’s get back to 15:2 – “Let each of us please his neighbor for his (the neighbor’s) good and to build him (the neighbor) up.”
But wait a second, what does Romans 15:1 say? Good point, let’s look. “But we who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not just please ourselves.”
When you put those two together, it gives you a very different perception of the mature Christian doesn’t it?
A mature Christian is someone who: bears with the failings of the weaker Christians. We don’t get fed up with them and condemn them for failing. We recognize they are growing and need to grow in their relationship with Christ to be able to live more like Christ. We’re supposed to help them do that.
But that phrase, “Not just please yourselves,” what does that mean? It means we are to stop making our own preferences, rights, desires, and freedoms the center of the conversation. In other words, these are our personal convictions.
If we’re not supposed to make everything about ourselves and our personal preferences, rights, desires, then what are we supposed to do? Now, 15:2 “Let each of us please his neighbor of his good and to build him up.”
This word neighbor is not talking specifically about Christian neighbors only. It literally just means “Near” or “the one who is nearby.” In the context it means “The person near you who is affected by your actions.” We are commanded to love all neighbors.
Here’s the thing, loving your neighbor is NOT a personal conviction. It is a CORE DOCTRINE of Christianity. It starts with Jesus saying it’s the second greatest commandment. The apostles reiterated its importance (Rom 13:8-10, James 2:8). It is mentioned in the Didache as the very first ethical instruction. Irenaeus of Lyons (AD130-202) said: “As long as anyone has the means of doing good to his neighbours, and does not do so, he shall be reckoned a stranger to the love of the Lord.” From Jesus to the earliest church fathers to the present day, love of neighbor has been one of the most consistently taught doctrines in Christian history. Whether we agree with them or not, whether we look, talk, act, think, smell, or sing differently, they are our neighbors.
Loving our neighbors is not a personal conviction. Is is a core doctrine. Christians may disagree about educational policies, taxes, school governance, city council decisions, curriculum decisions, or any number of other issues. But Christians do not have the liberty to stop seeking the good of their neighbors. Romans 14-15 give us freedom on matters of conscience, but it does not give us the same freedom in our obligation to love our neighbors.
So then, if Christians have been given the specific duty of pleasing our neighbors for THEIR good and building THEM up, what does that look like? IN the home it can look like parents who sacrifice sleep, money, and free time to raise their children. In the church, it can look like volunteering in an unglamorous role because it’s needed. In the community it can look like volunteering for community projects that provide no direct, personal benefit. At work it could mean helping an inexperienced employee even though it’s not required and slows you down. In politics it can mean asking “How will this candidate or initiative affect my neighbor,” not just “how will it affect me?” Plus many others.
Notice what Paul does NOT say. He doesn’t tell Christians to use disagreements about secondary matters as justification for withdrawing from one another. He tells us all to seek one another’s good and to build one another up. This principle extends far beyond food being sacrificed to idols. Mature believers regularly ask, “What would benefit the people around me?” not just, “What do I prefer?”
And with schools it could mean mentoring struggling students, encouraging teachers in your sphere of influence, volunteering at school events, donating to the arts or other clubs. And yes, it could very well mean that we do things like support school levies, even if we don’t have kids that benefit from the school.
This is what loving our neighbor looks like. Voluntarily choosing to do something that genuinely benefits another person when we could have easily insisted on our own preferences. Helping our neighbors and community flourish spiritually, emotionally, relationally and practically.
It means that before we ask: “What is best for me?” in this situation, we ask “what would be good for my neighbor?”
Are we using our personal Christian liberties as reasons not to love our neighbors?
Are we passing judgement on other believers who hold different convictions than we do?
Are there places where our personal preferences, political commitments, or individual freedoms have become more important to us than seeking the good of the people God has placed near us?
